the ‘$1000 to go to Hawaii’ bride, the ‘I bought a $99 polygraph on amazon’ lady, or the ‘why was $200 so huge’ birthday girl
a lot of people seem to be confused and think the hawaii bride and the polygraph lady are the same but they’re actually 2 separate people so here’s all 3 in one go
the “$1500 to go to hawaii” bride
Ms Polygraph Test
$200 birthday
bask in the unfiltered nonsense of it all
since someone mentioned this and I had forgotten, a last minute entry fighter: “Squire Sebastian” lady
New to the arena, Kristie and her surprise wedding
Hi, you may or may not know me. I go by Tyramir, and I’m an author. Mostly I write fanfic, but I have also published a book at some point. (Yes, that was a subtle plug – don’t feel obligated to click the links, they’re there to justify to myself why I’m doing this so I can say this wasn’t 100% altruistic because I’m a crusty old troll)
So, recently, Tumblr has made something of an announcement regarding what kind of content they will and will not host in the future. And you know what, that’s okay. It’s their site. They can do what they want. Just like I’m free to say, “Hey, @staff, go fuck yourselves with some sandpaper, you masochistic fucks.”
Ah, that felt good. You know what else feels good? Moving to Pillowfort. I’m in no way associated with them, beyond that I am now a user. I just bought a key. More than one, actually. I bought a whackload of them. I am not rich. See: author. Very poor profession if you’re not ultra-successful. However, what I am is angry, and disappointed with the direction this site is taking.
This site is home for the marginalised, for the outcasts, for the misfits. It’s also the home for a lot of fellow artists, like myself. Ones that might not have a little extra cash in their wallets. So, as a Christmas gift (and as a way of sharing that link up above advertising my book, see self, you’re not totally altruistic), I’m making this offer.
Reblog and like this post. You don’t have to follow me. You don’t have to buy my book. You don’t have to tell anyone it exists. You don’t even have to click that link. Just like and reblog. Anyone who likes it will get one entry for drawing for a key. Anyone who reblogs it will get one. Anyone who does both will get two. And on December 17th, the Day of Ignominy, I will draw ten names, and I will gift ten keys. I’ll even wear a Willy Wonka hat while I do. You won’t be able to see it, but the spirit will be there.
If you want to get the word out, but don’t want to get an entry (say you already have a Pillowfort account), just reblog and tag the post with “no entry,” or some variation thereof. I’ll exclude you from the draw, but thank you (in my mind, I’m not gonna actually thank people, but that requires effort, yo) for helping others learn about this opportunity.
TL;DR: Bald author wants to use very little cash he has to give people Pillowfort accounts. Just like and reblog for entries.Also, I hope you are feasted upon by a swarm of angry weasels, @staff.
**EDITED TO INCLUDE** A kind soul who has stated their desire to remain anonymous has volunteered an additional five keys to the raffle! We are now up to fifteen keys.
No porn on tumblr we describe our nudes in detail instead
today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
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